Breathe, Pray and Wait.

I tried, I prayed, I waited.. I prayed.

I’m waiting, I’m praying. I’m praying, I’m waiting..

I’ll wait, I’ll pray. I’ll pray, I’ll wait.

Inhale, exhale.

Patience, exhale. Inhale, patience.

Patience, patience… Patience.

Stepping out of Darkness 💫

People differ in the way they live, the way the act and even the way they learn. It’s a fact that there are major differences between people. We see different kinds of people everyday, in the streets, on the train, at grocery stores, at the clinics, everywhere.. we know nothing about them.

But you know what..we might be looking for the same thing, maybe we want the same thing or maybe we’re all a part of the same thing.

Sometimes we know nothing about the pain inside us until we see someone suffering of the same one that is killing us inside without us noticing.

Without noticing? No. Wait..

We just choose to numb our feelings and emotions sometimes, because we can’t keep struggling with our pains forever, we can’t keep fighting ourselves as we breathe. Most of the times pain pulls us back, that’s why we reach to a point where we have no other option other than rejecting and denying it. Afterwards, what happens is that these feelings decide to wake up.

They usually stay numb until we pass across someone with the same pain and then million tiny things inside us are awakened.

I know that there are so many people in life who used to cry when they see people suffering like them.. and I know that these people now look at those who suffer differently. I know that they just tell themselves that those warriors will be fine, will be stronger, will forget,will win, will grow and will move on in life.

Technically, yes, they will. But in reality it’s just another group of people who will end up choosing to numb their feelings in order to move on.

It’s true that the things that we hide in our hearts, eat us alive.. It’s true that the pain that we act as if it never existed, grows by time.. and that the wounds that we deal with as if they’re nothing, are leaving scars that will always remind us that we’ve been knocked down, attacked, victimized, minimized, marginalized.

Through our journeys of life there are truths behind our heavy hearts, behind our pain that is growing by time and behind our scars that are staying forever.

Yes, forever.

It’s about the scars that are tattooed on our hearts, minds, souls and memories.. Because each one of us has a different truth, a different reality and different circumstances. A different pain, or maybe the same pain.

Pain is never defined as weakness, and I don’t want to ever recognize weakness as a part of any of us, we’re not weak, no one is weak – no matter how fragile we feel deep inside sometimes and no matter how many cracks there are inside us… But as long as we feel things and tolerate other things, as long as we stand up again after every fall, then we’re strong.

Very strong.

Numbing our feelings and emotions is temporary, there will come time when we will all collapse, because there will come a moment when everything inside us is awake.

All what we go through is meant to be, sometimes we just can’t change destiny, and sometimes things are just beyond our abilities.

Maybe beyond us.

Who said that we are here in life only to enjoy certain stages or some people or accomplishments?

We are here to suffer , to learn, to grow, to change, to transform..

We all owe ourselves the life that we freely give to other people. We deserve to devote more time to empowering ourselves, to pleasing ourselves and to supporting ourselves.

The least we could do is to protect ourselves from everything and everyone. All of us have the right to choose to get away of whatever breaks us and to leave whoever pains us..

Running away? No.

It’s saving and rescuing ourselves, because we will not have enough energy forever for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations and because faking funks is not fun, and it’s not easy.

It’s a waste of time.

Isn’t it easier to just wear our memories, scars,pains and experiences as a badge of honor, instead of denying and hiding them? Instead of numbing them?

Shine✨

Every time I feel that nothing is okay I talk to myself..

Every time I feel that I won’t get up again I talk to myself..

Because I’m the only one who can remind myself how I recovered when I thought it’s impossible.. how I succeeded when I thought it’s impossible..

Because I’m the only one who have the energy to keep telling myself that I’m strong, even stronger than my struggles..

Light will find a way to get through the days,no matter how dark it could be at times..

Humming..

It’s only when we stop time and look back that we can notice the changes that have taken place in our lives.. When we’re young we take risks and make terrible mistakes, we even repeat the same mistake over and over again, but that’s okay. This is how we change, how we learn, how we grow and how we become stronger, more productive, more successful and more responsible. Through the years, I’m sure that so many of us discovered that the goals we’ve set for ourselves are not what we truly need in order to improve or to go further in life.

Refresh, set new goals, have new expectations and dream of other achievements. This is not failure, because we change, life changes, we go through certain circumstances that reform our lives and therefore it’s more than normal to change our goals, because it’s so normal to change. Maybe it’s not the right timing, maybe we are not ready enough yet, maybe we have more important things to chase and maybe we’re just not interested any more in a certain goal. To all those who feel regretful for all the horrible stages they’ve been through : Don’t! Do not be the one who tortures the beautiful person within you, do not dim the light of your soul, do not pull yourself backwards. Who said that we only learn by reading and studying, this could be the “falsest” fact ever.. we learn when we experience different kinds of pains, and different kinds of disappointments.. and in my eyes this is what matters. Without our struggles and battles we won’t be as mature and solid as we are today.

Unfortunately, in so many cases, we might not be able to get over our fears and concerns that grow as we grow.. maybe these fears do really multiply as we grow up, and maybe this is normal because we all reach to a point where we think more, sleep less, and we get strapped by many and different kinds of responsibilities. But at the same time, no one can say that we’re weak, on the contrary, fighting raging wars in our heads requires massive efforts but then we will be the masters of our own worlds, we just have to be tough enough not to let self doubts destroy us and we have to always remember that we are the ones who are in control of our lives. We need to learn how to stop blaming ourselves because the feeling of guilt could take us million steps backwards. We need to never have high expectations, especially those of us who cannot handle disappointments anymore. And above all, we should always remind ourselves that the journey of life might be long and that we should never lose hope and burn ourselves because we are not perfect and we will never be and you know what? We don’t have to be. Flaws could be beautiful sometimes.. Let’s just stop beating ourselves, let’s be at peace, even if this stage takes a life time to be reached, that’s fine, we can always choose the slow road. We have to never forget who we really are, we have to accept ourselves and we have to always thank ourselves for being patient, courageous and strong enough, for offering so much love and support to those around us and for the ability to forgive and move on.

Privilege

It was when I woke up oneday years ago and noticed black bags under my eyes. I still can remember how horrified I was but few days later,  I began to like them.

Because these are the reflections of what I’ve been through, these are the reflections of my struggles, my pains, my waits, my long nights and my hard work. So many rivers of tears have passed from under my eyes.

I’ve accommodated and these two black circles under my eyes became the first things I see every morning, they simply became a part of me and a significant charachteristic of mine. Those who know me, know them and can’t imagine me without them. I hide them sometimes, but I still don’t care to practice my daily routine while having them appearing clearly. I even can face the whole world with them.

I know it’s all because of me. I know I over think and I know I don’t get enough sleep. I know that I’m the first one who causes myself hard times and I know I rarely have mercy upon myself. I regret it sometimes and I feel bad for myself, but there is no other way for me to survive, because no one has paved the way for me before I’ve started, and because I’m the one who’s responsible for smoothing the rough roads that I’m supposed to pass through.

It’s not about the bags under our eyes, yet, it’s all about our heroic survival stories and our glorious achievements.

I don’t mind having them getting darker as long as my mind is bright and my heart is well-lightened.

SelectSmart

Those who always want to receive, get and take will never make an effort to water the seeds of joy in your heart.

Those who are satisfied only when they gain and earn will never spend a second thinking of how to please you.

Those who think only about themselves are never a good choice. Never sail with them in the same ship neither as lovers nor as friends. Swimming alone to the opposite bank is less harmful than their company..

You don’t need them- they’re not only selfish, but they’re also stingy… Emotionally stingy. Because of them, the greenest spots turn into deserts.

There is nothing in the whole world that can justify your desire for surrounding yourself by such creatures. Nothing in the whole world could be persuasive enough for me to digest the fact that someone still has hope in such people.

Such relationships are not worth the patience.

What would your patience do?  Drylands never bloom after being left thirsty..

You Be You

Every time you try to be someone else, remember that you’re leading yourself to a point where you’re a lesser version of you and of the person you’re trying to reincarnate. You’re never going to be someone else even if you try with every ounce of your being and even if you put all your focus into acting like someone, speaking like someone, or being like someone.

The good thing is that you will definitely excel in being yourself and you’d always be better at being you than anyone ever could.

So stop comparing yourself to others. It’s so natural that people are different.

Stop watching, stop comparing, stop trying. We’re different, and we will never ever be alike. Simply, because our missions are different, our responsibilities are incomparable, our goals are unalike,our circumstances are dissimilar, our strengths and weaknesses are so contrasting. 

Sit back, think deeper and rearrange your thoughts and visions. Focus on what you’ve got and on what you really can do.  Start over and live properly before it’s too late.

The Secret Blend

The feelings that have transformed within me

The memories that have faded utterly

The certain details that mean nothing nowadays

The characteristics that are not the same anymore

The places that no longer exist on my map

The promises that were made to let me down

The challenges that do not terrify me any longer

The wounds that turned into scars

The scars that have shaped me

The pain that turned into power

The stations that really matter

The circumstances that bring harmony with my soul and with God

The wait that led me to more than what I’ve desired

The patience that was deeply implanted in my soul

The steadfastness and the perseverance that lead me always to success

The prayers that avail much and make miracles happen

The success that always costs me dearly

The way to glory that has to be paved by determination, exhaustion, tears and compromise

I’m not ashamed of being formulated of all this and I’m totally dutiful and responsible for the human I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better an oops than a what if

What you cultivate in your heart,what you have in your mind and what you put into practice are all what make you and build you. Your skills, your knowledge and your traits should be used without fearing boundaries simply because living life without challenging yourself, your surroundings and the rough difficulties in your journey means that you won’t ever experience the glorious taste of achieving what you really desire.

Not a Quitter

​It exhausts me how unpredictable and rugged life could get, sometimes I just feel that all I need is a great pick-me-up and I can’t deny that at a certain point I just don’t  know what to do for myself, but I’m always definite that I still can rest but never quit.